Deliverable

March was a bit of a mixed bag. There were some darker moments, but also some bright spots here and there. Having the cleaner clearer home has definitely been a great thing, but I truly need to just finish the damn burgundy wall already, hang the closet door, pick some freakin’ curtains, and paint the kitchen. Especially the kitchen… the disarray in there is way old.

The “I want to curl up into the fetus position” feelings of this past week (see “darker moments” above) seem to have subsided somewhat, which is not a bad thing. I’m trying to stay even keeled and just focus on the work. So far so good. (Knock on wood, fingers double un-crossed and all that.)

Going to keep this simple and short. Spring has arrived so here’s to new ideas, new beginnings and to taking the consistent actions that’ll make all my dreams come true.

Wanted to give myself credit for getting out to that audition this afternoon. Each time is a learning experience, that’s for sure. I’m just sending the energy out there, and want to remind myself that at this point it’s all about showing up and doing the auditions. I’ll get the show/film/whatever that I need to get when I need to get it and when it’s right for me.

I did stop by the Drama Bookshop on the way home and picked up a new monologue book (as well as Ross Reports). There were a couple of pieces I liked and plan to work up.

Actions speak louder than words.

‘Nuff said.

It occurred to me that what I was talking about in my previous post was a “trusted system”, just like an A-Z filing system, or 43 folders. The goal being to make your activity take up less brain space. Less brain space used for repetitive tasks means more brain space available for creativity. It also means you’re more likely to do the activity, because your brain doesn’t go “Aw man, I don’t want to do that because it’s a real pain in the ass”. I used to absolutely loathe doing my lesson scheduling. It took forever and just basically sucked. Once I developed my “trusted system” (database) my scheduling time was cut in half (at least) and became a matter of simply copying, pasting, and changing a few data fields. In other words, it became a hell of alot easier. I now do it consistently ahead of schedule (for the most part). Even when I do put it off to the last minute, I don’t mind it nearly as much because it doesn’t take that long to do.

This got me thinking about what other trusted systems I might have used in the past successfully, and how I might use “trusted systems” in the future to tackle areas of my life that need consistent change. I’m going to tackle that in a future post.

Thursday is now “headshot mailing day”. The idea is to set aside certain days for certain things. Associate the task with the day and then repeat until it’s a habit. Sending out headshots/resumes is a clear physical “next action” that I can repeat every week. If I repeat this consistently it is bound to yield results. It’s been the “consistent” part that’s been the problem in the past. Putting into the realm of habit should help with that.

I also set up a database this evening to automate the process of going through Backstage notating which projects I want to submit myself for. The process:

• Purchase Backstage every Thursday.
• Go through it that day and quickly mark projects I might be right for. Write “S” next to the ones that use sides. Use a shorthand system to mark items that are coming up this weekend or are email submissions versus mailed submissions versus submissions that are open call.
• Don’t let Backstage sit around, thinking to yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow…” You won’t.
• Open up the database and input all relevant data from Backstage. This allows you to track what projects you’ve submitted yourself for. It also gives you a hardcopy that is easy to access when it comes time for the audition.
• Sort the list: “Open Calls”, then “Email Submissions”, then “Mailed Submissions”.
• Print a copy of that weeks items to submit, using the easy to read “Print Template”.
• Staple together the “Open Calls”. Staple together the “Email Submissions”. Staple together the “Mailed Submissions”.
• Fire up the email and knock out the “Email Submissions”. Use previous cover letters as template, exchanging the names of the various “To:’s” and “Projects”.
• Rinse and repeat for the “Mailed Submissions”.
• Walk out to the mailbox and deposit all “Mailed Submissions” before bed so they go out on Friday.

Hopefully this process will become easier and more streamlined the more I do it. It took a while tonight to do, but I think the extra time working out the process will make it easier to complete down the road. It’s like my teaching schedule. The more I automated the process, the less I had to think about the process. The less I have to think about the process, the more likely I will be to do it. It’ll become a habit.

That’s the idea at least.

Tonight I sent out 7 emails for projects and mailed one. There are also two auditions that are open call that I hope to attend.

We’ll see how this goes. It might be possible to “rinse and repeat” the process for some of my other creative endeavors. More posts on this as I go along.

Clearly I am in a funk. I’ve been feeling this way all week. The end of the month is almost here… my burgundy wall is not done, my kitchen is not repainted, the curtains are not purchased, and the thing is that these are not the things that have me in a funk. It’s like the bottom has dropped out of all my creative energy. No project seems worthwhile. The only project that has any type of clarity is the book, and that has thus far proved the most difficult to start/sustain work on.

Somewhere in me there is this feeling that none of these things that I currently could be working on (“finishing the book, writing songs, creating music in the studio, practicing trombone/bass/guitar/piano), acting) are ever going to lift me out of my current lifestyle/income/prosperity level. Or maybe I feel like whatever I do will not be enough to get me to the lifestyle/income/prosperity level that I really want to attain.

I’m not sure what to do to get past this when it seems like I’ve been here before… so many times banging my head up against this wall. I have the talent. I have many great tools. It’s like I’ve lost the desire to use them, and only want to curl up in a ball, eat mandarin oranges, and watch Law & Order till my brain completely fries.

Figured I would send my current dilemna out into the universe and ask for a clear way to move past this and on to wealth, happiness and prosperty.

Was traveling most of this past week and recovering from traveling the rest of the week.

I’ll try doing the same thing with the book (and my teaching) as I did with my practice. Simple tracking so that I know I’m putting the karma out there.

M:
T:
W:
Th:
F: 20 / 20 / 20 (2 songs to Sibelius)
Sa:
Su:

One of my March goals has been to “Accurately track “money in & money out” for the month”. So far it’s been less than smooth sailing. I have alot of trouble keeping track of my daily expenses and weighing those against my recurring expenses. A possible solution came to mind that I’m going to try.

I’ll make my current checking account my “recurring expenses” account. All of my income will be deposited here, and I’ll keep enough money in there to cover the expenses that I know are coming each month and that don’t change (rent/phone/utility/etc.). I’ll set up a new checking account at another bank for all of my discretionary spending… The spending that varies from month to month. Since I know what my recurring expenses are each month, any money over that amount can be transferred to my “discretionary expenses” account. (I’ll leave myself a buffer to cover any unexpected one time fees or things like that…). This way I’ll know that I have the basics covered each month, and I’ll have a clear idea of how much I can or can’t spend on other things. I’ll also pay anything that I possibly can with the debit mastercard on the new account. This will leave a paper trail so I won’t have as many questions about “Where did the money go?”. (Haven’t discovered a terrific strategy for dealing with cash yet, other than trying to keep receipts… One thing at a time I suppose.)

My hope is that this system will force me to be more conscious of my “money in and money out”. I’ll also be forced to plan ahead for my purchases from the discretionary account, because I’ll have to leave time for the check I write myself from the primary account to clear.

At the very least it’s something new to try. The old way was definitely not working for me.

Trombone
M:
T:
W: 20
Th: 20
F: 20
Sa:
Su:
—-
Bass
M:
T:
W: 20
Th: 20
F: 20
Sa:
Su:

Guitar
M:
T:
W:
Th:
Fr:
Sa:
Su:

—–
I’m trying something new here. I’ve created a new category for “Music”. I’ll create a weekly post to track my practice times on each instrument. Nothing fancy, just the amountof time I spend each day. It’ll be a sort of concrete way to send my practice out into the universe so that the benefits might flow back to me, whatever those benefits might be. I’m not going to get anal with this. I don’t plan to track the total number of time spent each week practicing, because it’s more about seeing that I’ve been playing music consistently. At this point, it’s not as important that I practice for hours and hours each day, but that I make music a consistent part of my life. I’ll keep it simple: One post each week for all the instruments, which I’ll update throughout the week. The goal is to be able to look back on this week and say “Yes, I played music consistently this week.”

One other observation from my practice tonight: Now that I have my apartment cleared, it feels much easier to make my studio my “practice place”. I don’t want my instruments scattered all over the apartment as I did before. This gives me a sacred space to play music and makes it much easier to associate practicing with that place.

–update: 6/12/06–
I’ve decided to track practice differently. All of these posts have been aggregated into my practice tracking page.